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    MelbGirl82

    Posts : 11
    Join date : 2011-04-25
    Location : Melbourne

    Hello everyone

    Post  MelbGirl82 on Mon Apr 25, 2011 2:09 pm

    Hey everyone

    I'm so glad this forum was started...it was a bit difficult to navigate through the BT forum and I found stuff was all over the place - and I need organisation just to get through the intro phase of BT!

    My story began from early childhood I guess, I was always a chunky kid, that escalated to obese very quickly after high school when I started uni. I kind of stopped caring and allowed myself to accept that an abusive relationship was OK (like another member in the forum, seems like a pattern in a way). I think subconsciously I was eating to make myself less attractive to the opposite sex, after all, if you're fat and ugly, you can't get hurt, right?? Despite my self-sabotage into obesity, I still felt like crap. Being obese made me feel a lot worse than he ever did. I don't blame my ex for my being obese, I blame myself for not being strong enough at the time to say no.
    At this point I'm in a healthier relationship, but I'm afraid that after a while my partner will lose interest in me...If I was in a relationship with myself, I certainly would not want to be intimate! Why should I expect him to feel any different??

    I decided to start BT out of desperation. I don't think I can realistically continue with my current path, my lifestyle. I hate myself, looking at myself in the mirror, seeing my reflection in the glass as I walk past shop windows and see clothes I'll never fit into. Ordering clohes online in size 24 only for them not to fit right anyway once I receive them. Having my butt spill over to the seat next to me on the train. Saying no to going out with friends because I have nothing to wear and I feel "fat" 24/7. Being stared at by inconsiderate people with disgust. Looking at women's magazines and feeling worse than ever. Do I go on?? I'm sure you all know how I feel, we're all two sides of the same coin, right?

    I think addiction to food is just like any other...only when someone smokes or drinks or takes drugs, the aftermath can be somewhat hidden, but if you like me have a toxic relationship with food, there is no way we can hide away from that. I only have to look down and see my stomach or turn around and see my butt enter the room 5 min I have. At the risk of sounding negative, I really think you have to hit rock bottom before you can climb back up. My rock bottom is right now, I don't even know how much I weigh because I'm afraid of the scales. All I know is that I have progressively been buying larger clothes and I'm balloning to enormous proportions.

    I'm here because I'm not perfect and I need help to find myself again and to regain control of my life...starting with what I put in my mouth.

    I hope you all join me on my journey. Thank you for reading :-)

    Dana

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    Janene
    Admin

    Posts : 174
    Join date : 2011-04-23
    Age : 38
    Location : NSW Australia

    Re: Hello everyone

    Post  Janene on Mon Apr 25, 2011 2:20 pm


    Oh Dana, if I could I'd give you a big ol' squishy hug. A lot of your story sounds very much like me. And as I sit here sniffling back a few tears let me remind you that anything is possible if you just put your mind to it. I am similar in size to you by the sounds of it, and I can successfully tell you I had success on BT previously, it worked for me and I know it'll work for you.

    Everyday that passes I take as an individual day, so if I have a slip up, it's ok - it's just one day. Too many times (and diets) in the past I slipped up and suddenly got the "oh well, no point anymore" attitude and just gave up...but not anymore.

    I have a few close (skinny) friends, and I hate when someone cracks a "fat" joke and people glance sideways at me, it's almost like they pity me - well they probably do and I can't stand being the centre of attention, but i feel it's always negative...I cannot wait to bounce into the room and LOVE people looking at me, I will get there - and girl you hang in there and we will all do it together!!

    Welcome to the forum hun Hi There


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    Starting weight = 123.8kg
    Goal Weight = 75kg

    Goal #1 - Reach Double Digits


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    stefenia

    Posts : 107
    Join date : 2011-04-25

    Re: Hello everyone

    Post  stefenia on Mon Apr 25, 2011 5:23 pm

    Hi Dana and welcome.

    I can't say I've been in your shoes - but we are all starting from the same place - we are not happy with how we are at the weight we are. I pray that this system will work for you (it certainly is the first thing I've tried that really does work) and that you will find happiness and peace with yourself.

    Do keep us informed as to how you are going. Take care.

    MelbGirl82

    Posts : 11
    Join date : 2011-04-25
    Location : Melbourne

    Re: Hello everyone

    Post  MelbGirl82 on Tue Apr 26, 2011 3:11 am

    Thanks to everyone for their welcome. I will weigh myself today and update my beginning tracker.
    I'm a bit nervous to step on the scales for the first time in a very long time, but it has to be done.

    Thanks to Janene for starting this great forum Very Happy

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    tanjasweightloss

    Posts : 50
    Join date : 2011-04-24
    Age : 36
    Location : Numurkah, Victoria

    Re: Hello everyone

    Post  tanjasweightloss on Tue Apr 26, 2011 6:18 am

    Aww hun I know how you feel I went through the same things building a shell so people couldn't and wouldn't hurt me. When I first started I dreaded stepping on those scales I saw the photo that was taken and still I thought I weighed 109 and was in shock when I saw it say 136.9 kilos. I locked myself in the toilet and just cried.

    I do see that it was an addiction for me and it was only this year that I did and have decided no longer to go to maccas, kfc anything that is take away I'm no longer buying and it's going really well haven't missed it at all. You'll get there and if you every want inspiration just look around you at others who have done this. Big hugs and lots of love too.
    xoxo
    Tanja

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